Getting my first bottle of magnesium
I went to the shop and asked for magnesium. I explained that I was emotionally unstable and that I was looking for magnesium. There are many forms of magnesium, more on that later, but the guy at the shop knew which exactly which form I was looking for. I purchased the bottle and took two pills. And that is where the magic happened. After one hour my excessive crying was gone! I felt grief and pain but the big difference was that these emotions did not put my system in panic mode anymore. I call it my magnesium euphoria
It did not last for long, after three hours I was stressed again and I found that I had to take more magnesium supplements to keep calm. That is what I am doing for the rest of the days since.
What magnesium did to my system was incredible, I could reason again where I just a day before panicked and freaked out. It felt that all my troubles where gone forever. What I first noticed that my hidden fears where gone. I was able to react on spontaneous thoughts that always popped in my head but which did not manifest to the outside. More open to people on the street which made my world bigger instantly. At the same time I noticed that my thoughts where much more clear and I was able to organize and memorize more efficiently. The numb feeling in my arm and leg where gone in less then 3 days. My sleeping pattern changed and I did not need a loud annoying alarm clock anymore. These are a few examples that where noticeable immediately and that made me feel on top of the world.
The euphoria made me a bit over enthusiastic. I contacted my ex and agreed to meet with her. Then I totally fucked up and noticed that the old patterns where just hidden under a thin layer of magnesium euphoria.
Back to reality
I kept on experimenting on my interactions with people I felt save with. I started doing things that I never enjoyed before, but now I did. That was quite shocking for me. I slowly started to let go old habits and felt that my personality and needs where changing. Except the encounters with my ex, which where strong emotialy charged, I never had a explosive encounter again. Which felt good, because I hated that particular character part of myself. I was able to reason and stay in the moment.
I was the type of person that lived in a mess and experienced difficulties taking good care of my health and needs. Simply because I did not react on the signals that my brain gave to drink a glass of water. Especially the first three months after my first magnesium supplementation my house was clean like a hospital. I could not even let a glass unwashed on my sink. Feeling myself again helped me taking care of myself and my environment again.
I experienced very positive changes in my life. Most importantly my crazy anger moments where gone and I had no more hidden fears and excessive crying moods. Great! But there was a catch... Since by body was used to express emotions immediate when I felt them, without any thinking, this energy stayed in my body longer then I was used to. I had never learned to canalize these emotions in a way healthy people do. The result was that my stomach, chest and throat felt cropped. If you are into chakra's you know that that is where three chakra's are located. That made me realize that cropped emotions where the cause of this pain.
At that point I could only think of one solution and to stop taking magnesium for a while. My body needed to let the energy out by expressing it In a way. I went to a safe place with people I trust and skipped my magnesium supplements for a while. That was confronting experience. I was slowly getting used to being more open, having clearer thoughts and experiencing less anxiety. Skipping the supplements revealed the person I was for fucking 20 years or so. But now I could clearly see my change of behavior. My mind was able to stay in my the state that I am today but my body was suffering of the lack of magnesium. I felt anxiety again, could not finnish a sentence flawlessly, felt numb in my arm and leg again, got confused, lost concentration and felt like screaming real hard. These where some of the characteristics that I thought where part of me and I had to deal with in the past.
The difference was that back then I did not know some day these characteristics would be faded away. This made me feel horrible, angry and regretful which served the purpose! I could cry and I did. Real loud! like an animal. I felt so releaved after that that my pain in my stomach, chest and throat was gone right away. I took a magnesium bath afterwards and I was back on track!
Getting to know the new me
- It’s very hard to get sufficient magnesium through food.
- Stress keeps magnesium from being processed in your body.
So I continued reading and stumbled on a website with symptoms of magnesium deficiency. That's is when it hit me. I recognized many of the symptoms and they where not new to me at all.
- Low on energy
- Bad memory
- Num feeling in arms and legs
- Low on energy
- Nervous behavior
- Bad concentration
- Shaky hands
- Trouble finding the right word
- Fast irritations
- Pain in my back
- Heavy heart rate
So before I made the step to use a chemical treatment I thought, what the hack, i’ll give magnesium a shot. I felt very low on energy and I was crying almost all day long. I went to the shop and asked for magnesium. I explained that I was emotionally unstable (which was pretty unnecessary because of my shaky appearance and red eyes) and I heard that magnesium could help out. There are many forms of magnesium, more on that later, but the guy at the shop knew which form I was looking for immediately.
He gave me the bottle, I cried some more on my way back home and took two pills. And that is where the magic happened. After 1 hour my excessive crying was gone! I felt grief but it did not put my system in this crying trap anymore. I was so happy that I might have found that my body had a magnesium deficiency. I call it my magnesium euphony.